My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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