also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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