I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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