And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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