Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
