im about as happy as oj after his trial
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize