she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize