I'm really into asian looking animals
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
