we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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