When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
