I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize