I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just had sex bonerless
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
