i would punch a child for taco bell
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize