Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
