when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
