Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You know, be my cock's hype man.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
