I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
