mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads