I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating