if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
this hospital has no fireball
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?