U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...