They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
