i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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