She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
