She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
