the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
