I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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