Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
