Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
