Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
