Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
