A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
