So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Sober January is a disaster.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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