You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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