Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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