You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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