If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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