Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
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No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
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i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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