Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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