So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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