So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Randomize
