I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
