the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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