I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I intend to get homeless drunk
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
soo... how was my night?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
