How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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