Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
