Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
