I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
