never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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