you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
