So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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