what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
