I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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