happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Swine flu is the new snow day.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
