it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
