I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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