When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
