I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
