Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Dicks are not precious.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
