I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
