I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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